I'm Supporting Someone Else
When it's not about you, but you want to help
Two short guides. One for coworkers who witness something difficult, one for managers and leaders who receive a concern.
These guides help you respond steadily and fairly. They aren't a substitute for your workplace's policies or professional advice. If someone may be in danger, contact emergency services or an appropriate crisis line.
You don't have to fix the situation or become an advocate. A calm, private check-in and clear facts can matter more than a public confrontation.
Notice what you directly saw or heard
Describe the behaviour and its impact on the person's work, not the person's character or your guess about their motive.
Avoid gossip and guessing about motives
Repeating what you saw to others can become rumour and harm the person you want to help. Keep it between you and them unless they ask for more.
Check in privately and without pressure
A quiet, private moment often means more than stepping in publicly. Ask what would help them, and let them decide what happens next.
Offer small, safe support
A note, a coffee, a quiet 'I saw that', small gestures can reduce the isolation without escalating the situation.
Help someone think through their options
You're a sounding board, not a decision-maker. Help them sort facts from feelings and consider what they might do next.
Know when an appropriate workplace process may be needed
If safety is at risk or a pattern continues, an appropriate workplace process may help. Seek advice on which one before acting.
Keep your own factual notes if appropriate
If it feels safe, jot down what you directly saw or heard, with dates. You may never need them, but they're there if you do.
Reflection
What did you directly see or hear? What would a safe, private check-in look like?
Want to practise first?
Try a scenario or use the private tools to prepare what you'd say.